As It Will Be
by Arigatomina
Summary: Sequel to At Last. Yaoi, AU. Fic 4 in this series. Five boys have come to earth as gundam pilots, and fate will lead them together. But how will their past change their future, and will they realize how they've all met before?
1. Default Chapter

Author's Notes: For those people familiar with my following-the-series-fics, you'll understand this fic. The difference is that, as with the beginning of Is This Real? I tell from the point of views of the pilots. This won't last throughout the entire fic, but it helps in the beginning in order to tie their newly created pasts to the series. I call it an AU only because it is based on a past history written in the preceding fics. The prequels are, in order, (1) Is This Real? (2) The Way It Was (3) At Last  
Category: AU, Gundam Wing, Yaoi  
Pairings: will be 1x2, 3x4, 5+?  
Warnings: none  
Author: Arigatomina  
Email: arigatoumina@hotmail.com  
Complete Archive: www.fanfiction.net  
  
As It Will Be (sequel to At Last)  
  
Part 1  
  
**Quatre's Journal**  
  
I won't date this, there really isn't a reason to. I think mostly, it's my creativity that leads me to describe all of this. I could talk for hours about it, but I wouldn't want to bother my friends. Especially since the war and our missions are so very demanding. But I want to write it down, to be able to express myself to something that will listen, even if it is just a computer file. I'll have this, and someday, maybe I can share it.  
  
I came to earth all alone, disobeying not only my father's wishes, but the very soul of my family. We are pascifists, or at least, they are. By taking part in this war, I can no loner include myself in that generalization, but I'll always be a pascifist at heart. At least, I hope I will. In truth, I suppose the main reason I came to earth wasn't because I wanted to fight in the war, although I did want to try and make a difference. No, I think it has always been my destiny to go to the earth. The Maguanacs would understand, since our fateful meeting, the earth has always been there, like the goal I must one day reach. And I did. I landed in the desert, near the place where my comrades were to meet me.  
  
It was frightening, the atmosphere that surrounds this planet. Coming through it in a pod that was much less controllable than a shuttle was something that I doubt I'll ever forget. Not that I for even a moment regretted my decision, but the heat and fire was as awesome as I'd expected. Yes, I knew about it, I know all about the earth. I've been researching it for years, preparing for the day I would come down and see it with my own eyes. And it is breathtaking. Even when I was surrounded by nothing but pale brown sand, I saw the beauty of this world, the sky is so wide and bright. And the clouds...  
  
But I won't go into that, I think Rashid finds it amusing that I'm so awed by the beauty of this planet, and I probably should be more...no. I don't know what it is about me that I should change, but rambling on, even in writing, about something like beauty isn't a useful way to spend what little time I have. Although, my gundam definitely looks different here than it did up in space.  
  
Sandrock, my mobile suit, he was given to me by my doctor, and he has already shown how strong he is. While I may not fight with the same spirit as the Maguanacs, with his help, I won't have to fear being defeated. So I don't enjoy killing, even enemies. That isn't a secret, and I am *not* ashamed of offering an enemy the chance to surrender rather than killing unnecessarily. Death shouldn't be something that is taken for granted. It's such a waste, and I don't think I'll ever believe differently. Still, I know Audah was worried about me during that battle. It was my first battle, so his worries weren't uncalled for. But as a pilot, I do know how to use my suit. And a gundam is so much more powerful than any suit OZ has. No, he wasn't worried about my physical abilities. He's worried because, as I overheard him saying to Abdul, my heart isn't in the fight.  
  
My heart. It isn't like other people's, I learned this when I first decided to come to earth and pilot the gundam. There's something different about it. I feel too deeply to put aside my emotions and simply kill those who are apposing me. I can't do that. Not that I can't kill them, but I can't do it without my heart hurting me. It's almost a physical pain, the way it clenches in my chest, but it really isn't as bad as one would think. Actually, it only lasted for a moment. When I killed the commander yesterday, I felt the pain for all of forty seconds...yes, I counted, I couldn't help but count. Still, I think I *like* feeling the pain, it tells me that even if I'm going to be hurting people, even if I kill them, I won't do so without feeling remorse. Pity. I can fight and still keep my compassion.  
  
I wondered if the others felt sorry for the soldiers who died that day, but I know now that I shouldn't have asked. Rashid was nothing less than respectful when he said he would do whatever was necessary to ensure my safety and fight the war. But I know I put doubts into his mind. He already sees me as weak, as a person who shouldn't be fighting. He never said such a thing, but I'm sure he thinks it. Why else would he be so concerned when it was obvious that Sandrock hadn't been hurt during the battle? No, he wasn't worried about physical injuries, and that bothers me. They, the Maguanacs, they are fighting their own fight, they were fighting it before I came to earth. Rebels, they won't be cowed by OZ, or the Earth Sphere Alliance, and their people are backing them completely. Yet, now they speak not of the battles they plan to wage, but of what my next mission might entail.   
  
They are planning to go with me. And it isn't because I am fighting the same enemy, no. I'm sure it's because they are worried that I won't be able to do it, they're worried that I will get hurt or fail, or something worse. And I know...they're also worried about what they would have to tell my father if anything happened to me. My father...he never wanted me to go, he *forbid* me to go. And I went anyway.   
  
Sometimes I wonder if one of the reasons I went was to go against him, I have been fighting him since I was a child. There has always been something different about me, something that made me unlike his daughters, and I think he has never really known how to deal with me. Of course, I can't say I helped him much. When we're together, we just...don't seem to get along. And sometimes...he reminds me of someone, like there is something about him that gets under my skin. That doesn't make sense, I know, but maybe it's because he's my father. I don't know what families are normally like, but I hear children tend to choose a parent to be at odds with. And since he is my only parent, he is the one I fight with.  
  
But this is all in the past now, I've disinherited myself. Maybe I would have been the heir to my father's fortune, would have inherited the title of Master Winner, but I don't think I'll ever regret this decision. The colony...it never really held me. I can't imagine living my life there, alone, in charge of such responsibility. At least on earth, I'm free in my anonymity. Although...the Maguanacs still call me Master Quatre. I guess, they always will.   
  
I wonder, though, why they do that. Yes, it could be because of my father, because of my status as the sole male in the Winner family, aside from him, but...I don't think that's it. Rashid calls me Master Quatre, and he's done so since we met. The others, they may be following his lead. I don't know why. Yes, I realize they are showing me respect with the title, but I can't feel that I deserve it. I'm no better than them, as a fighter I probably am nothing compared to them, and as a person...I'm not strong enough to even be compared to them. I think Rashid would argue with that, but I won't tell him so he'll never get the chance. I'm not as unconfident as I was, but there are some things that don't change, even with time. And I don't think I'm strong enough to win this war on my own, I'm missing something. Without that, I won't win. Of course, I have the full support of the Maguanacs, and I'll never let anyone believe I'm not grateful, but...I don't want them to fight with me.  
  
That doesn't make sense at all. I just said I couldn't win alone, and here I am whishing they weren't fighting with me. But it's true, I don't want them in danger, and I feel, in my heart...my space heart as I've come to call it...I feel that there is a danger coming. I just don't know if it is OZ or something else. All I know is that by fighting by my side the Maguanacs will be endangering themselves, and I don't want that. Even if it means I have to fight this war alone.   
  
It's comforting, just knowing that there are people who agree with my beliefs about OZ, people who are on my side. That knowledge will suffice, their involvement...it isn't necessary. I just can't figure out a way to convince them of that. And if I try, I know...Rashid would yell at me. Yes, as calm as he is, he does have a temper the same as the rest of the Maguanacs, and for some reason, they seem to feel they're responsible for me. And they worry. I don't know how to change that, or if...if I *want* to change it...they're my friends, and friends worry about each other. I believe it should be that way.  
  
* * *  
TBC  
--notes-  
This is purposely short, and the next part will be as well. But fear not, this fic will have longer parts, and the journal style won't last too long. Anyway, this is the long-awaited final story in this series of mine. At least, I think it's final. Unless I end up writing an epilogue fic for it, don't know yet.  



	2. Part 2

Category: AU, Gundam Wing, Yaoi  
Pairings: will be 1x2, 3x4, 5+?  
Warnings: none  
Author: Arigatomina  
Email: arigatoumina@hotmail.com  
Complete Archive: www.fanfiction.net  
  
As It Will Be (sequel to At Last)  
  
Part 2  
  
***Duo's Journal***  
  
Why am I writing this? Why else, because Howard said to. For someone as...flighty as he acts, he's pretty smart. And he's right too, I probably am making a mistake. See, I plan to do something tomorrow, I'm going to be going into an enemy facility, in broad daylight, to rescue someone who might be as much of an enemy as OZ. And why, you ask, would I do such a thing? That one's easy, I'm doing it because this guy, he has a mobile suit similar enough to mine for them to have been made by the same person. That's it. That's the whole reason I'm doing it. Although, I admit it, I'm intrigued by him too.  
  
I know OZ was looking for his suit, I just happened to be lucky enough to get there before they could take it, so I know what they were after. And the fact that this guy tried to blow up his suit tells me that his mission is probably the same as mine. After all, who but a fellow gundam pilot would be suicidal enough to choose death over letting a simple mobile suit fall into enemy hands? Well, not really so simple. A gundam is like...a Cadillac in comparison to...a Taurus. Yeah, that's about right. Except, this might be a bit confusing since a Taurus is also a type of mobile suit, but I'm talking about the car, here. Gundams are so much better than regular mobile suits, there just isn't a comparison.   
  
I know, I've gone off the subject, I do that sometimes. I had a friend once, and he used to say that my problem was that my mind worked too fast for normal people. I guess it sounds conceited to say that, but I think he might be right to a point. I mean, I tend to talk a lot, and often, I'll start talking about one thing and then suddenly my mind will have gone off the original line and I'll be thinking of something else. It bothers people, the way I do this, and they usually stop paying me much attention. Howard's honest, at least, he tells me when he's ready to stop listening, and I can reign myself in and stick to one thing. Not that I'm saying my mind wanders over important stuff, just that...it only takes so long to think about something, it takes longer to explain it and by the time I'm done explaining the thought, I have so many new ones in my head I have to jump to the next or shut up altogether. Solo used to say it was a sign of intelligence, sometimes I think it's a sign or insanity, myself.  
  
Then again, I'm kinda crazy, that's no secret. I mean, how many fifteen year old boys talk to an imaginary friend...let alone get answered by him. Not that I think Shinigami isn't real, but I've been told *repeatedly* that even if there were a God of Death, there's no reason he'd talk to me. And he doesn't really, not like I'd talk to someone else. No, it's more like...I talk to him sometimes, in my mind, and then...things happen in a way that's like an answer to me. Father Maxwell always said that God sends signs if he feels it necessary, well, I don't know about *him*, but Shinigami sends me plenty of signs. After all, I'm still alive. That's a really big sign right there. No, he's not really an imaginary friend, more like an...alter-ego or something. Hell, sometimes I think I *am* Shinigami, how insane is that.  
  
Oh, sorry. I've done it again, haven't I. Okay, I was writing about my self-imposed mission tomorrow. First of all, I'll be going against the rules, risking myself for something other than an assignment I've been given. Of course, I'll be leaving Deathscythe out of it, so I don't think the doctor will have too much to argue about. Besides, I stole the suit, that makes it mine, right? Yeah. So I don't really have to answer to him anymore. But I do, he's smart, and he knows where the best places are to attack, something I'd have to work harder to find out for myself. But as I was saying, I won't be taking my gundam when I break into the hospital. That would be odd, a huge mobile suit breaking down a wall and carrying off some teenager. It would also be stupid, and don't think I would seriously think about that. I'm just imagining it, is all.  
  
Really, it's too dangerous to take my gundam, and it isn't necessary. I've broken into places before (have I ever), and it's easier to get away on foot, believe it or not. Besides, I've already got the place scoped out, I know all the entrances, and the exits. I plan to make my own exit, but it's still good to know where the existing ones are, just in case. Especially if this guy is injured too badly for my plan to work. Jumping out a window that high up won't work if he's unconscious.  
  
You know, I actually feel a bit guilty about him. Though it's probably stupid for me to, considering all I did was save some girl's life. See, he was planning to shoot this girl, she was about my age, and as far as I could tell, she wasn't armed or anything. She was just standing there when I got out of the water, and what could I do? I saved her. I also shot the guy. Now *this* brings up the real reason I said I was intrigued by this pilot. As I said, I shot him. Maybe I should explain a little about my skills with guns. I never miss. I have excellent vision, and as steady a hand as anyone. When I aimed for that guy, he should have been on the ground in a second, a hole in his chest. But no, somehow, he managed to turn fast enough that I barely grazed him. I know how that sounds, it looks unbelievable even in writing, but that's what happened. No one can move faster than a bullet, I know that, but this guy, he did something because even when I shot him again as he dove for his gun, all I did was scrape his leg. Pure insanity, right?  
  
Maybe, but maybe not. I'm pretty confident when it comes to my mind, and I know what I saw, that guy didn't dodge enough for those bullets to land where they did. Nope, there's something else going on here, and I intend to find out, even if it means rescuing him and taking him back to the base with me. And it's not like I could just leave him there, in enemy hands. After all, he's a gundam pilot. I thought I was the only one, but I'm obviously not, and why should I let OZ get their hands on the pilot if I wasn't willing to let them have the suit? Okay, so I wanted the suit for myself, it's not easy getting spare parts of gundanium, but still, better me having it than them, they'd just use it against me.   
  
The reason Howard suggested I write this was on the off chance that something goes wrong and I end up getting caught or something. He's worried about what will happen to Deathscythe with me gone. I bet he'd end up messing with it if I didn't come back. Don't get me wrong, I trust Howard, he's cool, but he's still a born mechanic, and I know how much respect and interest he has in the gundams. He did help to design one, once. Anyway, I think he'll send this message to the doctor if I don't come back. I'll have to make sure and edit this before I leave, just in case. Not that I expect to have trouble, this is going to be an easy mission, I know it. But still, better safe than sorry, right?  
  
So I'm going to bust this guy out tomorrow, early in the afternoon if I can. I figure, it'll be easy to get in, and with my arsenal, even if I get caught it shouldn't be a problem. No, I'll get the guy out and then, Howard's ship will pick us up on the beach. It's an open and shut mission, really. He shouldn't worry so much, I've told him that before. Actually, he doesn't worry like he used to. I guess he's gotten used to my attitude, even though he's only *heard* about my missions. But then, I never lie so he knows what little I can tell him is the absolute truth. Besides, I can't die.  
  
Wow, that sounds incredibly ignorant, saying I can't die. But it's true. I mean, how close have I come? After all, I managed to survive the plagues that used to wipe out half the population on my colony. I didn't even get sick, not once. And then there was the church, only survivor from *that* one... Nope, it's like I have some sort of lucky streak. Shinigami, that's what I think, but then, what do I know. Still, it was pretty lucky that the doctor disabled the self-destruct on my gundam before I stole it or I'd be just that many more pieces floating around up there in space. But he did. Yes, I know it's because he cares about his precious masterpiece, and Deathscythe is definitely cool, but still. He couldn't have known the exact time I'd be trying to blow the suit up, and it was a good thing he got to it before I did.  
  
No, I'm pretty confident in myself. I don't think I'll be dying anytime soon, certainly not on some simple mission like this one. Besides, if Shinigami wanted me, he could have had me long before now. The real one, I mean. Yeah, I know I said I like to call myself Shinigami, and I do, but I actually believe in the real God of death. Don't look at me like that, I'm not naïve. As I told Father Maxwell, I've never seen a miracle, but I've seen plenty of dead people. If that isn't evidence of a God of death, then there are *no* Gods, what sort of world would that be...   
  
The reason I refer to myself as Shinigami, is because, as I said, I feel like he's in me sometimes. After all, I never killed anyone...okay. I can't say that. Um...I didn't really kill people easily until I came to earth and I have to admit, I'm very good at it. I don't think anyone's seen me and lived, certainly no one who saw my gundam. So, if I'm the bringer of death, doesn't that make me Shinigami? At least his apprentice. Okay, so I'm just playing now. That's cool, though, like I said, I can always edit this later. Because I'm going to be coming back from this mission, no problem. This thing will never be read, so it doesn't matter what I write. Which reminds me, that guy's cute, too.  
  
* * *  
TBC  
--notes-  
No, Duo's not crazy, and he isn't a scatterbrain. Things in him just changed after Shinigami brought him back in The Way It Was. Remember what he said about giving him his own essence? Well, he did. ^__^  
  



	3. Part 3

Category: AU, Gundam Wing, Yaoi  
Pairings: will be 1x2, 3x4, 5+?  
Warnings: none  
Author: Arigatomina  
Email: arigatoumina@hotmail.com  
Complete Archive: www.geocities.com/arigatomina  
  
As It Will Be (sequel to At Last)  
  
Part 3  
  
He didn't hear anything, just the dull hum of the machines that were connected by wires to his forehead. But he blinked as if he'd heard it, and his dark eyes snapped to the screen to his right. First he was met with gray fuzz, then the image clicked and he stared at the shadowed face, the dark cap hiding everything but his lips as the boy spoke silently. His uncaring expression wasn't feigned at all, and he turned his head back, long dark lashes disguising the fact that his gaze stayed on the boy. As he'd known his exact location without any investigation, so he also knew the boy had come to break him out. He knew this before those lips began to move, and he didn't have to read them. Watching the boy, it wasn't until he disappeared from the screen that he closed his eyes in truth, seeking the darkness.  
  
//One mistake after another, since coming to Earth I have yet to succeed on a single mission. He can't be here for me, then, I have proven how useless my retaliation is. The Gundam is the only reason, it's evident.//  
  
As he waited for the promised rescue, Heero's mind turned back to the last day, his hands continuing their steady strain against the straps that held him. First, he'd followed orders, taking his suit into the atmosphere. From there nothing had gone right and he didn't fool himself by trying to place the blame on anyone else. The civilian shuttle that had spotted him in that first instant, the OZ carrier that had been hovering in the vicinity, these were things that he accepted as fate, just as he accepted his missions as goals. But he'd failed that mission. It was true that he had made it to the earth, but in doing so he failed to remain hidden. And he'd lost his Gundam.   
  
True to his training, he'd worked to undo his mistakes, taking steps to eliminate the witness who'd found him on the beach after he'd escaped his ocean grave. Enrolling in the school had seemed to be a stupid idea, a foolish notion of remaining inconspicuous that Doctor J had recommended. The man obviously didn't understand the ways of the earth; he didn't realize that Heero was not the sort who could hide in the open. Oh, he'd done well to start with, and perhaps if his target had not been such a public figure he might have accomplished his goals. But the girl was Relena Dorlain, and even from the colonies Heero had learned enough to know that her death would draw worldwide attention. So he'd turned his sights on getting rid of that which she'd witnessed, the witness guarded well enough by her very identity for him to be hesitant in killing her. The Gundam she'd seen was his target; eliminate that and it wouldn't matter what she told. With no proof, hers would be just a story told by a teenage girl.  
  
Changing his mission, he'd chosen to initiate the Gundam's detonation device and thereby destroy the suit. But he hadn't counted on the girl's obsession, or her dogged determination to get in his way. She'd followed him to the base, inserting herself into his view of his goals. It was a reminder that he'd failed once, in not having killed her, and he'd given in to the distraction. Then, as he'd been about to finish it, he'd felt the presence. That same one who was now somewhere inside the hospital intent on setting him free had prevented him from both of his missions, killing the girl and destroying the suit. He must not have known that Heero's missions didn't allow for failure. Whether the boy was a pilot or not, he didn't seem to have the same outlook.  
  
//Another Gundam pilot; Doctor J should know about this before I die. But it wouldn't make a difference now, the Gundam is on Earth and even if he could find another pilot for it, I doubt that boy will allow it to be found. And he is a Gundam pilot. In my case, one pilot with a Gundam is enough. If the same can be said for him then the colonies might win. If not, then there isn't a point in my escaping here. I've proven my uselessness. There isn't a point in this. At the very least, OZ will have the body of a pilot. Assuming they only know about my Gundam, the one they've seen, they will think the colony offensive is over. It's better if I *don't* make it out of here. And...I don't want to make it out of here...//  
  
* * *  
  
The explosion rocked the entire building, causing a wide grin to curve Duo's lips as he braced himself. His arms lowered from where they'd protected his ducked head from the plaster and debris as the wall had blown out and his eyes glinted on the figure before him. The boy was looking at him, those dark eyes void of any surprise. Of course, he'd told him he was coming, but he should have at least been a *bit* startled, not having known the moment or manner of Duo's arrival. But he wasn't and Duo didn't waste any time as he crossed the white floor, his bag of bombs slung over one shoulder as he leaned down. The bed was unlike anything he'd seen, and he searched for the release. Not finding one, he had made up his mind to use his knife and simply cut through the straps when the boy moved. It was then that he found himself to be the startled one and his eyes froze on the streams of blood that trailed down the hand that stretched to him.  
  
//He ripped the strap. The strength that would take, the pain...there is so much to him that I just don't understand. But now isn't the time.// He handed the knife to the boy, hiding his interest behind a shocked expression. The straps were cut in less than a minute, and his offer of assistance was met with a cold stare. "Put this on," he said, holding the bag as he shifted the pack off his back. The boy accepted it, glancing down then hooking his arms into it. Then he looked up and Duo grinned, his mind laughing at the blank expression. //As if he'd say thank you, he doesn't look like his mouth works. Then again, he did ask who I was before I shot him.// Turning on his heels, Duo ran toward to door he'd made, a glance back showing that the boy was right there with him.   
  
There was a hall right outside the room, and Duo ran for the window, bomb in hand and escapee beside him. He would have warned the boy as to his intentions, but he got the feeling he already knew. When he threw the small missile and ducked, he grinned again as the boy's elbow touched him, the pilot just as fast. Then the window was gone, along with the wall, and he gave one last grin and glance to dark blue eyes before jumping. Mere seconds passed, and Duo's wide eyes were the evidence of the exhilaration he felt. Wind rushed through his clothing, his cap barely kept on his head and he loved every second. //Catch me, death, I'll fall into your arms...but...not today.// Curving in the air, he stretched the device, pressing a switch as the small propeller started. The moment over, his eyes turned and he sought the boy out.  
  
"What are you waiting for?!" The boy's eyes were closed and his body seemed slack, as if he was unconscious. He was obviously deaf to Duo's cries, and his descent was unhampered as he made no move to pull the parachute's cord. //How many stories are we up?! Time's running out, if he doesn't pull it now...// Duo's free hand rose, covering his eyes as he turned his head aside. It wasn't fear, but he had no wish to see the boy die so gruesome a death right in front of him. The thought that he was choosing that death made it all the worse. //I've played with death, but he's a pilot, he could have done so much good. What a waste.//  
  
* * *  
  
His eyes were closed, but he could feel gravity pulling him down, the wind tangling his hair, tugging at his arms and legs. As if his mind was already dead, he couldn't think of anything, no final thoughts, no flashes of his life behind his eyelids. Nothing but darkness and a sense of falling into an unending pit, drowning. He stopped breathing. There wasn't a reason to try and he was suddenly afraid that if he did he'd taste thick liquid; oxygen denied. He heard something, but it sounded so far away, the wind too loud in his ears. Then a sound beamed through, high and piercing, his name screamed aloud. //"Heero? Do you really have to go?"// Time stopped, and Heero's eyes flickered as he could hear a soft voice in his mind and he listened to it, straining to see who was speaking. //"...you'll be leaving someone behind...not wanting to hurt me by dying..."//  
  
Heero's eyes snapped open, his hand jerking reflexively on the cord he held and his downward plummet was halted for a second. Then the parachute ripped and he looked at his surroundings for the first time, taking in the rocky terrain below, the beach, water beyond. He could hear himself, as if he were speaking to someone and the words made his eyes narrow. //"My life has meaning now...I'm *not* going to leave you."// He unsnapped the pack on his back and hit the ground rolling. Pain shot through him from the landing and he knew instantly he'd broken his leg, but his progress continued until the land smoothed beneath him. For a moment, he lay still, his breath knocked from him as sand and dust settled. Then he rose on stilted legs, pain shooting through him from the snapped bone and his dusty eyes opened to the ocean.  
  
Silence filled his mind; no voices murmured comforting if confusing words, no whispers in his ear. There was nothing, save a cold knowledge that he'd lived to fight again, to move and breathe for the next mission. His hands curled into fists and he barely heard the soft shuffle as the boy landed a few feet away. Muscles clenching, his arm rose and he glared, gritting his teeth furiously. //I could have ended it. Why didn't I?//  
  
* * *  
  
He heard the impact, and despite himself his eyes were drawn down to where the boy had hit. But he didn't die immediately, the slope was too inclined and his body traveled down it, rough tumbles that made Duo wince. It was when he lay still on the sandy beach that Duo started to close his eyes, a tiny token for the life lost that might have done some good. The boy stood, shaky then firm and Duo's mouth fell open. //There's no way. I just don't believe this guy. What is he?// His own slow descent was irritating him and he finally let go, falling a few feet to land in an easy crouch. He stared at the tense form, and he heard his words. //He's cursing himself for living, for not having succeeded. What a fool.//  
  
"I can understand why you'd want to kill yourself," he said slowly. It was true, though he doubted he'd ever know the real reason behind the boy's death wish. "Maybe you should think of a better way." Crossing to the boy, he took his wrist, not flinching from the intense glare of those dark eyes. "This might sound corny," he managed, his lips twitching as he failed to smile, "But right now you just have to trust me." He pulled the boy's arm, holding it over his shoulders to take the weight off the boy's leg. There was a slight bump on it, and his occasionally gruesome side told him the bone had snapped. The boy didn't speak, dropping his eyes and Duo glanced away from him, relieved to see the boat. His plans had met with unexpected change, but the rendezvous was a success and he took more of the boy's weight, putting an arm around his waist. "That's our transport."  
  
* * *  
  
The grip on him was strong, but Heero still wanted to push it off, he wanted to be left behind. Reality was harsh, and he knew he'd be taken to his Gundam, to more missions, more fighting. It was his life, he'd been fighting since childhood and he'd never really known anything else. There wasn't a reason to dwell, and he moved forward, following the boy to the waiting ship. He could have made it alone, he was sure, but this was quicker. Resigned to living and continuing his attack on OZ, he knew they had to hurry so they wouldn't be caught. The hospital had surely sent out guards and the ship was large enough for them to spot and follow.   
  
"Cooperate a little, eh?"  
  
Heero blinked and frowned before glancing to the boy who held him. Bright eyes turned to him and his glare intensified upon sight of a small smile. It was a moment before he understood what he was talking about, then the boy hitched him closer. He'd been leaning away, avoiding the contact without even thinking about it and he slowly tightened his arm. The boy beside him promptly beamed and he glared in response, looking away again.  
  
"Much better," Duo said quickly. The look he'd been given was enough to make him want to laugh. "It's not like I'm going to drop you or something."  
  
//"I'm never letting you go, Heero...that's both a warning and a promise."// Heero glared as he heard that voice again, warmth rising once more in response. He didn't know where it came from, but it was annoying. The boy beside him said something, but he didn't hear it or care at the moment. His body was still warm and he didn't like it, because he didn't understand it. The arm around him wasn't helping any and the moment he set foot on the boat he shoved away.  
  
Duo knew the surprise showed on his face, and he glared suddenly, turning away from the boy. It wasn't often that he got angry, not visibly, but he hadn't expected that. True, the boy didn't need to thank him, he hadn't thought he would, but being ignored was something Duo didn't take kindly to. //What did you expect? Him to smile and let you lead him to a seat or something? Look at him. He's still angry he didn't kill himself, he isn't even thinking about you.// Smirking as his mind railed at him, Duo moved to where Howard was waiting, the shore left behind them. //You always have to ruin my moods, don't you. Okay, so he doesn't care if I'm here. That's fine. But he better be more polite when we get his Gundam. After all, I risked my neck to get him out of there. I could have just kept his suit and left him to rot.// Even as he thought of it, he shook his head, a small smile playing over his lips. //Like I'd really do that...//  
  
* * *  
TBC  
  



End file.
